There are lessons to be learned in a wheelchair.
I'm learning what it means to look up to others. I'm also learning what it means to be looked down on by others. Not in a condescending way - simply in a physical sense. When you're in a wheelchair everybody but the youngest and the smallest look down on you.
I'm learning what it means to depend on others. There are many things I'm used to doing for myself that for the time being I cannot do. Doors that you can't open; books you can't pick up; drinks you can't pour; errands you can't run; places you can't go; a back you can't wash; a bandage you can't change; prayers you don't feel like praying for yourself; Bible passages you can't concentrate on enough to read for yourself; the list goes on.
I'm learning what it means to trust others to do what you're used to doing yourself. The old adage 'If you want something done right do it yourself' makes less sense to me now than it used to.
I'm learning why many folks dread going to the doctor - that indeed it can wear you out and take the whole day.
I'm learning - ever so slowly - what it means to trust my heavenly Father. I've read and believe that He knows what is best for me and that He is working all things for the good for those that love Him and are called by Him. When the pain awakens you and keeps sleep away this truth comes to mind too slowly - but it does comes. For that I'm thankful.
I'm learning what it means to love and be loved by a church family. I thought I already knew this - but I didn't. This is a sweet lesson to learn.
Don't misunderstand - these lessons are not fully learned. This class will be a long one, and I'm not yet the student I need to be. The doctors tell me the class will last at least 50 weeks. It will take that long to know the how full the recovery will be. In the mean time the next two weeks will include dental appointments and many hours of in-home recovery.
Yesterday Susan and I went to Chapel Hill for a dentist consultation. The parking decks at UNC can be confusing - this we learned 1st hand. Since there's not room to unload and load a wheelchair in a normal parking space, Susan dropped me off while she parked. When we returned to the car she asked if I could wait while she went to get the car - which was just a few spaces above us. Her plan was to back up to where I waited - but backing up in a parking deck can be difficult - if not impossible. The minute someone saw her backup lights come on they stopped to take the space - too close for her to get back to me. So away she drove on her journey to get back to where I was. It ended up being a long journey - it took her 15 minutes to find her way back to where I patiently waited (YES - I was patient!!). While I waited a few kind folks stopped and ask if they could help the poor helpless invalid they continued to see each time they made the circuit looking for a parking space. Eventually she made her way back from parking deck Sheol and rescued her poor husband. We both had a good laugh over this incident. I'm sure it won't be the last in this chapter of our lives. I'm glad we have each of you to share it with. We love you!
I'm learning what it means to look up to others. I'm also learning what it means to be looked down on by others. Not in a condescending way - simply in a physical sense. When you're in a wheelchair everybody but the youngest and the smallest look down on you.
I'm learning what it means to depend on others. There are many things I'm used to doing for myself that for the time being I cannot do. Doors that you can't open; books you can't pick up; drinks you can't pour; errands you can't run; places you can't go; a back you can't wash; a bandage you can't change; prayers you don't feel like praying for yourself; Bible passages you can't concentrate on enough to read for yourself; the list goes on.
I'm learning what it means to trust others to do what you're used to doing yourself. The old adage 'If you want something done right do it yourself' makes less sense to me now than it used to.
I'm learning why many folks dread going to the doctor - that indeed it can wear you out and take the whole day.
I'm learning - ever so slowly - what it means to trust my heavenly Father. I've read and believe that He knows what is best for me and that He is working all things for the good for those that love Him and are called by Him. When the pain awakens you and keeps sleep away this truth comes to mind too slowly - but it does comes. For that I'm thankful.
I'm learning what it means to love and be loved by a church family. I thought I already knew this - but I didn't. This is a sweet lesson to learn.
Don't misunderstand - these lessons are not fully learned. This class will be a long one, and I'm not yet the student I need to be. The doctors tell me the class will last at least 50 weeks. It will take that long to know the how full the recovery will be. In the mean time the next two weeks will include dental appointments and many hours of in-home recovery.
Yesterday Susan and I went to Chapel Hill for a dentist consultation. The parking decks at UNC can be confusing - this we learned 1st hand. Since there's not room to unload and load a wheelchair in a normal parking space, Susan dropped me off while she parked. When we returned to the car she asked if I could wait while she went to get the car - which was just a few spaces above us. Her plan was to back up to where I waited - but backing up in a parking deck can be difficult - if not impossible. The minute someone saw her backup lights come on they stopped to take the space - too close for her to get back to me. So away she drove on her journey to get back to where I was. It ended up being a long journey - it took her 15 minutes to find her way back to where I patiently waited (YES - I was patient!!). While I waited a few kind folks stopped and ask if they could help the poor helpless invalid they continued to see each time they made the circuit looking for a parking space. Eventually she made her way back from parking deck Sheol and rescued her poor husband. We both had a good laugh over this incident. I'm sure it won't be the last in this chapter of our lives. I'm glad we have each of you to share it with. We love you!
Gerald,
ReplyDeleteWhile Sandra, Jayden, & I very much enjoyed the visit with you and Susan yesterday evening it was very difficult seeing you our Pastor in this condition first hand. I think we as church members sometimes forget the humanity of our pastorial staff and the fact that yall have similar life struggles to endure along with the church members.
We depend on faith to make it through each day but in life we experience things that causes us to doubt our faith, even if only for a fleeting moment.
You are in our prayers & wish for you to continue to reconize and acknowledge the blessings God is showing you in your recovery.
Earl Worsham
Gerald,
ReplyDeleteWe wish we could fix this for you!!!
We love you,Brother!
Ann and Tommy
Gerald & Susan,
ReplyDeleteAmanda and I were discussing migration at bedtime. Yes, I know it sounds kind of strange. But I used the illustration of the Monarch. She said "when Pastor Gerald feels better, we need to go and visit him and show him and Miss Susan pictures of our butterfly." I just wanted to share that with you. We continue to pray for your healing, and we love you both very much!
The Dodsons
What did you do before all this happened, pray for patience or compassion or what? Or was it like Susan mentioned that you asked some folks to pray that you could slow down? Boy, maybe you should have just said (unselfishly of course), "Lord, help someone else to be more like You. You don't have to work on me right now......"
ReplyDeletePraying for you both : )
I am encouraged by your blog. I know this isn't an easy place for you right now-- such a strong, active person to be down and seemingly helpless! Keep trucking... or wheelchairing along, we're rooting (and praying) for you!
ReplyDelete